A satirical romp. Tv Sal is sucked into her beloved TV by space aliens looking for parts for their space ship. She enters a game show where she trades the parts for a universal channel changer that puts her on any show in the universe. Then the fun begins.
There are 11 student parts. Sheldon takes the parts of JACK DEE DOOBIE and NARRATOR. Students read out the underlined words. Students should read the words over a few times to prepare for the show.
TV SAL
most pages
FATHER Pages 1, 2, 6
MOTHER P. 1, 2, 6,
BROTHER P. 1, 2, 6
4 ROCKONS P. 4, 5 (must be able
to shout loudly)
GORBEE NIGHT ANNOUNCER P. 4
MONSTER MOVIE ANNOUNCER P. 4
TALK SHOW HOST
P. 5
......................................................................
TV SAL AND THE GAME SHOW
FROM OUTER SPACE
NARRATOR
TV SAL was watching TV at the cottage.
She had been
watching all week long.
FATHER
Her FATHER said,"That TV will suck your brain as empty as an old
grapefruit."
BROTHER
Her BROTHER said, "Your eyes will be as square as that TV
screen."
MOTHER
Her MOTHER asked, "Would you like to do something different,
dear? Come out with us to look at the fog."
SAL
"No thanks," said SAL. "I want to watch the Pretty
Piggy
Supersweet Special. Then The Top Fifty Video Thriller Countdown.
After that, there's a cartoon show about monster garbage cans."
MOTHER, FATHER and BROTHER speak together
"Call us if you want us," they said. "We won't go far."
But something was wrong with Channel Two.
There was no Pretty Piggy Supersweet Special.
There was a game show that SAL had never seen before.
She decided to change the channel.
JACK
DEE DOOBIE
"Don't touch that dial!" yelled the game show host. "I'm
JACK DEE DOOBIE, and you could be *!OUR * NEXT*
BIG * WINNER!*"
SAL
"How?" asked SAL.
JACK
DEE DOOBIE
"Bring me everything on this list," he said.
"Then
*! LET'S * MAKE * A * TRADE!* "
SAL read the list; a litre of rocket fuel
eight expanding pressure straps
three quartz ball bearings
SAL didn't know what they were. So she
found what she
could around the cottage: a bottle of diet cola,
eight rubber bands and some glass marbles.
JACK
DEE DOOBIE
"Come on in!" yelled JACK DEE DOOBIE.
Buzzat! SAL was buzzatted right inside the television.
JACK
DEE DOOBIE
"Give me those parts," said JACK DEE DOOBIE. "And I'll
trade you ... a chance to win!"
SAL
"Win what?" asked SAL.
JACK
DEE DOOBIE
"A BIG PRIZE!" said JACK DEE DOOBIE. "Just spin the wheel.
If it lands on fifty-seven you try to answer the Hundred Word
Puzzle. If you're right, you tell us your most embarrassing
secret. If we laugh loudly enough, you pick the weirdest member
of the AUDIENCE for a date. If the judges like your choice,
you can trade your date for a Big Prize. Isn't that easy?" asked
JACK DEE DOOBIE, all smiles.
SAL
"No, it's not easy," said SAL. "And what is the Big
Prize?"
JACK
DEE DOOBIE
"A meteorite scale!" said JACK DEE DOOBIE.
AUDIENCE
"Ooh!" went the AUDIENCE.
JACK
DEE DOOBIE
"Or an air tank in one of four shades of grey!"
AUDIENCE
"Aah!" went the AUDIENCE.
JACK
DEE DOOBIE
"Or last but not least,..."
SAL
"Forget it," said SAL. "No trade."
JACK
DEE DOOBIE
"Please!" he begged. "Those parts are for our space
ship!"
SAL
"Aha! You tried to trick me," said SAL. "You're aliens
from Outer Space!"
JACK
DEE DOOBIE
"It's true!" said JACK DEE DOOBIE. "But we crashed
and we
need those parts to get back home. I'll trade you my Universal
Channel Changer! It puts you on any TV show in the universe."
SAL
SAL's eyes lit up. She said, "You've got a trade!"
The AUDIENCE went wild. SAL pressed Channel Five.
*BRUM* {}GRUZZELBEEP{}
!HAZAP!
She was on another TV show. But not one from this world.
It was the Planet Goofalot Cooking Show. And SAL was
the
main dish. The chef grabbed her by the ankles and stuck her
in a pot. Just before she was peeled, chopped and boiled, she
switched back to Channel 2. Only to hear JACK DEE DOOBIE say ...
JACK
DEE DOOBIE
"That's it for today's show, folks. Tune in again
tomorrow for *!LET'S * MAKE * A * TRADE!*
SAL
"Wait!" cried SAL. Too late. Another show had already started
GORBEE
NIGHT ANNOUNCER
"It's Gorbee Night Live!" an announcer said. "The greatest
talent show in Outer Space. Our next act is Al from the
Planet Dirt - I mean SAL from the Planet Earth!" - foreign names
always mix me up."
SAL didn't know what to do. She grabbed what looked like
four rocks and began to juggle.
ROCKONS
"Rau-awk!" The rocks screamed.
GORBEE
NIGHT ANNOUNCER
"You're juggling THE ROCKONS!" the announcer yelled.
"They're the greatest rock band in the galaxy!"
SAL dropped them on the floor.
SAL
"I'm sorry," she said. "Oh, I wish I'd never met Jack Dee
Doobie. If he hadn't crashed his space ship, I wouldn't even be
here."
ROCKONS
"Rau-awk," cried THE ROCKONS, hopping towards SAL. "Rau-awk SAL!"
Quickly, SAL punched the Universal Channel Changer.
*BRUM* {}GRUZZELBEEP{} !HAZAP!
She got away and found herself on The Planet Barkaloon
Comedy
Show. Barkaloons think only one thing is funny, slopping each
other and slopping SAL with paint, over and over again. Just as
SAL got her turn to slop paint back, THE ROCKONS showed
up
shouting,
ROCKONS
"Rau-awk - SAL!"
SAL only just escaped to Channel Ninety-nine, where she became
a CHUMPBALL in the CHUMPBALL CHUMPIONSHIPS. The worst part came
when the ROCKONS rushed on trying to catch her.
*BRUM* {}GRUZZELBEEP{} !HAZAP!
She escaped to Channel One Hundred and One...
MONSTER
MOVIE ANNOUNCER
"Welcome to 'The Meebly Mawbly Midnight Monster Movie,"
the announcer said."Our movie tonight is called, 'The Horrible
One Headed, Two Eyed, Ten Fingered Creature from Across
the
Universe.'"
That Horrible Creature was SAL.
She switched to Channel 1050 - The Planet Groan Exercise Show
Channel 44,000 - The Mud and Crud Beauty Contest
Channel 1,000,012 - a talk show on Planet Finkelouie
where the host had five heads.
SAL
"Will one of your heads please tell me how to get home?"
SAL begged. But the heads wouldn't stop asking questions,
TALK SHOW
HOST
"Do you feel lonely with only one head?"
"Are you embarrassed because you aren't purple?"
"Why do you have all those hairs on your head? Are they like
antennae?"
SAL switched channels all night long but by morning she was
no closer to home. Finally, it was four o'clock, time for
*!Let's * Make * A *Trade!* back on Channel Two.
*BRUM* {}GRUZZELBEEP{} !HAZAP!
SAL
"JACK DEE DOOBIE!" SAL shouted. "I want to go HOME!"
JACK
DEE DOOBIE
"You tricked us, SAL," he said. "Your parts were no good.
We're stuck on Earth. So you're stuck in Outer Space TV."
ROCKONS
Suddenly, THE ROCKONS landed, shouting,"Rau-awk - SAL!"
SAL
"Help!" cried SAL. "They've been chasing me ever since I
juggled them on Gorbee Night Live."
ROCKONS
"Not chasing," said THE ROCKONS, "We're following. Doobie's our
friend! He needs parts! We got parts."
JACK DEE DOOBIE
JACK DEE DOOBIE hugged all four ROCKONS. "Thanks, pals!
SAL
"What about me?" asked SAL.
JACK
DEE DOOBIE
"You showed them the way here," said JACK DEE DOOBIE.
"So
you win ... A TRIP BACK HOME!"
The audience went wild.
JACK
DEE DOOBIE
"Press this blue button once to go home," said Jack
Dee
Doobie. "Press it twice for your Earth channels."
SAL
"What if I press it three times?" asked SAL.
JACK
DEE DOOBIE
"Three times rewinds," said JACK DEE DOOBIE.
"You return to
the time when you first started."
When SAL got home she could tell everyone had missed her.
They all shouted,
MOTHER, FATHER
and BROTHER
"Where have you been since yesterday? We were worried sick.
You're in big trouble!"
SAL knew what to do. She pressed the blue button.
Once. Twice. Three times.
"WHISHA WHIZZA PASSTA!"
Everything was rewound -
back to when her family was coming home from their
walk.
MOTHER
"We had such an exciting time!" said her MOTHER. "We
think we saw a squirrel or maybe it was a bump on a log."
FATHER
"It was hard to tell in the fog," said her FATHER.
BROTHER
"Anything special on TV?" asked her BROTHER.
SAL
"I've had too much TV," said SAL. "I'm turning
it off."
BROTHER
Her BROTHER said, "Impossible!".
FATHER
Her FATHER said, "Unbelievable!"
MOTHER
Her MOTHER asked, "Are you sick, dear? Would you like a
cup of warm milk?"
SAL
"No, thanks. I'll read Waldorf his favourite book," said
SAL. "But after supper, I'll pick a TV show we can all be on."
MOTHER
"But don't you mean a show we can all watch," said her MOTHER.
SAL
"Oh, no," said SAL. "I know exactly what I mean."
THE END