by Sheldon Oberman
Set in modern day Jerusalem, various characters come to the Western
Wall as tourists, which offers great comic opportunities. However, we eventually
realize that even people who appear shallow or silly may have deep emotional,
spiritual needs which the wall may answer.
20 minutes long, music and dance is optional
Characters 12 - 16 male and female mixed
Singer
Tour guide
Tourists 2 - 6
Tourist man
Tourist woman
Sheera
Sam
Sara
Kelli
Susy
traveller
street seller
elderly person
Setting; the square at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem
A young man enters with guitar. He is a busker. Various characters pass through - tourists, the traveller, seller, soldier some looking at the wall which is imagined to be between the stage and the audience.
An Israeli tour guide enters with tour group. The guide has obviously gone through this a thousand times before. As the guide speaks some tourists fidget and talk, one fiddles with a camera, one listens overly intently and takes notes, another gazes in the wrong direction, leans on someone and massages her feet - all according to individual characterizations.
Guide Okay, Aleph Tours, right this way, watch
your
step please.
Okay, now we are to see the
Kotel Hamaaravi,
the Wailing Wall, the only
remnant of the
Holy Temple of the Bible.
In line please.
The busker sings and as he does, others join in as the chorus.
Is this the Wailing
Wall?
There's nothing
very grand or tall
To draw them
to this empty wall.
Why do they come?
What do they find? x2
What's on the
other side of the wall?
Why do they come,
come one and all? )
People taking
pictures. What do they see? )
Cold stones,
will that set them free? ) repeat
One production of the play had tour group exiting and dancers entering for a dance number using the same music. Afterwards the dancers exited and the tour enters again. (with shopping bags and wearing Israeli Tshirts etc.)
Tour Guide This was also Mount Moriah where Abraham took
Isaac
Both the first and second temples stood here.
It was
also sacred to the Arabs who believe Mohammed
rose to heaven from here. On that spot they
built Al Aska
Mosque. The Temple was destroyed by Titus, a Roman
conqueror in 70 CE. For two thousand years
Jews came to mourn the destruction of the Temple
and to place their prayers in small notes in the
cracks between the stones.
Tourist woman The wall. Oh, the wall! How romantic!
Guide Any questions?
Tourist 1 Yes. Have you seen a handsome Arab man wearing a
Yankees
baseball cap? He said he'd meet me
here and
...
Guide (interrupting) Yes, I have not
seen him. Another
question?
(pointing to other who raised her hand)
Tourist 2 (wearing high heels, whining)
All this
walking is killing me. And the heat!
The brochures said the buses had
air conditioning.
You call that air conditioning?
Guide (interrupting) Yes, we do not.
No more questions. You
have 15 minutes at the Kotel. So follow me to The Holy
Land Discount
Store where all members of Aleph Tours get 15% off very
high quality souvenirs. (exits)
Tourist 2; (to guide while exiting) Has it got air conditioning?
Tourist 3 Joey said to me, he said, "Aunt Becky, no more
with the
tee shirts. I want a hookah pipe. So where
can I
buy a nice hookah? (exits)
Tourist 1 Is there a Diet Coke machine? I'm going to die! (exits)
Tourist 4 (Looking in Hebrew Dictionary) Aifo ha...ha?
Melony, what's
Hebrew for the little girl's room? (exits)
(Tourist woman and tourist man remain on stage)
Tour woman; Oh, Marvin. Isn't it just perfect? Take a picture.
Just me and the Wailing Wall.
Tour man; Another picture? I'm on the 3rd roll today!
Tour woman (posing in front of wall and grinning fiercely)
Just take
it.
Tour man; (fiddling with the camera)
What's the F stop? It won't turn out, I'm warning you.
Tour woman; (Getting more angry but still posed and grinning)
Set it
to automatic and take the ferstunkenah
picture!
Tour man; (aiming, then adjusting, then aiming, etc)
All the
picture are the same - you in the middle and
everything
poking out from behind. Like in Paris
with that
Eiffel Tower. It looked like some
sort of
antenna sticking outa your head...
Tour woman (angry but grinning)
Marvin, If you don't take that picture...(losing
smile, scowling) I'm going to scream
and I won't stop screaming until...
Tour man (fiddling, camera flashes accidently, startling
him)
There! You happy now? If you need proof we're here,
I'll sign an afadavit!
Tour woman (gazing off to exit)
Oh, look a camel! How romantic! (exits) Marvin....,
Tour man; (grudgingly following her exit)
Yah, I know. A picture. Just you and the camel.
Enter Sam, Sara and their daughter, Sheera
Sam (admiring wall) Ain't that a
killer! Now that's
what you call
a wall!
Sara Straighten up, Sheera. We're
at the wall.
Sam (reading from his tour book)
Did you know that
this wall is
50 meters long and 20 meters high?
Amazing!
Sheera, how long is a meter?
Sheera (to mother) I will not. You can't make me.
Sara Did you hear what Sheera said, Sam?
Sam (Immersed in book) And this
wall goes deep.
There's an excavation
leading to the Old City and
the Dung Gate.
Dung? Sheera, what's dung mean in
English?
Sheera (sulking) I want to go back to the hotel
Sara What's the matter with you? Why
can't you
appreciate anything?
Sam (still reading) Some stones
are six meters long.
Son of a gun! They don't make stones like that anymore.
Sheera (bursting out) Because I don't want to be
here and
I don't want
my bat mitzvah here and all my
friends are
having theirs at the Concord Vista
and they won't
even be here and....
Sara Your cousin, Sydney, had his bar
mitzvah here. Aunt
Vicky said that
it was the nicest event they could
ever have...
Sheera Well, I'm not Sydney!
Sam (still immersed in the tour
book)
Can you imagine
how they lifted those rocks?
We're not talking
bulldozers. We're talking
human muscle
and sweat like how they built the
pyramids. This
here is the land of the Bible!
Sara Sam, she won't listen to me. Talk
to her
Sam Sheera, do you remember the
Ten Commandments?
Sara That's right! (to Sheera) Honor
thy father and
mother!
Sam What a movie! Charleston
Heston played Moses. And Yul
Brenner as the
Pharaoh!
Sara Sam! Your daughter is driving me
crazy! (to Sheera)
We're having
your Bat Mitzvah here and that's the end
of it!
Sheera You do whatever you want and if I complain
you
call me spoiled!
You're the one who's spoiled!
Sara Sam, I'm getting my headache. Are
you trying to make me
sick?
Sam (finally realizing what's going
on) Young lady, do you
realize how
much this is costing me?
Sheera (exit in tears) Well, you're wasting
your money because
there's a wall like that down
the road at
home. And I'd sooner be there!
Sara exits following her
Sam You try to give your kid a
Jewish education and
what you get?
A slap in the face! (exit)
(Busker strums guitar - theme music between scenes)
Two teenage girls enter, talking intensely.
Susy I should have worn the blue tank
top
Kelli It wouldn't go with your shorts
Susy Well, at least earrings
Kelli Do you have the sun screen? I'm
going to peel, I
can feel it.
(Suddenly sees the wall and gets
excited as if
seeing a rock star. Susy bumps into
her and then
acts the same)
Kelli It's the wall!
Susy The wall!
Kelli The wailing wall! And we're here!
Oh!
Susy Oh!
Together Oh!
Kelli I can't believe it. Can you believe it?
Susy I can't believe it. I absolutely
cannot believe
it! Pinch me!
(Kelli pinches) Ow! (shocked)
Kelli Sorry
Susy Okay, let's get close.
(Kelli saddles up to Susy)
Susy To the wall!
Kelli Oh, sorry. (looks at wall) Which
side?
Susy Well... that's for the men...
Together (excited, staring at men by the wall) The men!
Susy Look at the one in the sunglasses!
Kelli And the guy in the green shorts. He's
so cute! I
can't believe
it.
Susy Okay, we'll just walk down to where
they get out...
Kelli Wait, I need more eye shadow. (Fiddles
with make up)
Susy (spots a soldier off stage) Too
late, get ready!
(Soldier enters)
Kelli (Faking interest) ...and its so spiritual.
I can feel
the spirituality
just oozing out of those stones.
And all the
history!
Susy Yah, and the culture and stuff.
I can't believe it
Kelli Yah
Susy (eying the soldier from the side)
It's so big and
so strong. Oh,
it's like...overpowering.
Soldier (approaches) Shalom!
Together Me, too (looking adorable)
Soldier You tourists?
Susy Yah.
Kelli You soldier? (Soldier nods) Do you fight?
(soldier nods)
So you come here a lot? (soldier
looks puzzled
and then nods half and half)
Susy We just love the wall
Kelli Yah, we just love it!
Susy It's so ... significant.
Kelli I could just stare at it forever.
Susy Yah, forever
(All three stare at the wall for about four seconds as if to
draw up its beauty then Kelli snaps out of it and asks the soldier).
Kelli So, are there any good clubs
in Jerusalem?
Soldier Clubs?
Girls Places for fun, meeting people.
Soldier There's David Ha Melech. I'm meeting
a friend there.
(leading them out)
Kelli Another soldier?
Soldier Yah. He's in the medical corp.
Girls (signal to each other their
secret delight) A doctor!
Traveller enters watching as girls leave. Busker strums guitar. Old person enters with exaggerated but amusing slowness
Old person Excuse me! Could you help me down
the stairs.
Traveller (helping) Did you come to see
the wall?
Old person Eh? (deaf)
Traveller Did you come to see the Wall?
Old person No, I come to see the Wall. (walking
the
wrong way).
Traveller It's over here. (turning him
around)
Old person (Still looking the wrong way) Huh!
I was here
two years ago. (admiring) It wasn't half so
big. Those Israelis! You gotta hand it to them!
Traveller What do you mean?
Old person Don't ask me, I'm not from around
here. (exits)
Arab street seller enters with souvenir junk
Seller (heavy accent,loud) Y'allah! Hey,
my friend,
I got beautiful souvenirs today, half price!
Traveller No, thank you
Seller (taking out junk)
I give you deal on bookmarkers. Look, they got
the Wailing Wall on one side and the Last Supper
on the other.
Traveller I don't want any (backing away from Arab seller)
Seller This ashtray's made in Bethlehem.
It's been blessed.
And dirt from the Mount of Olives and a...
Traveller Please. I can't, not now.
Seller A designer hotplate with rocks
from Mount Sinai.
You buy three and I make you a deal!
Traveller (getting mad) Go away!
Seller (suddenly insulted, packs up stuff)
Ah! These
tourists! They got no manners!
(Exits past the busker)
Hey, guitar! You have a bad day like me?
Traveller (still flustered) Did you see that? Selling
so close to the wall! It shouldn't be
allowed!
Guitar Everyone's got to make a living.
Traveller Some living! It's disgusting. Peddling
cheap
junk to tourists! And the tourists. What a
joke! They spend thousands of dollar to get here
and don't even know what they're looking at.
They just want to brag to their friends at
home, or pick up guys or use their fancy
cameras. I thought this was supposed to be a
spiritual experience.
Guitar It's been going on for thousands
of years.
Traveller I'll tell you what's been going on; a circus!
Guitar That's one side. The side that's
easy to see.
There's another side to this wall.
Traveller What you talking about. There's no other side
It's up against a hill of dirt.
Guitar (picking at the guitar strings)
There's another side.
Traveller What?
Guitar There's a side to the wall you've
not seeing.
There's a side to these people you're not
looking at.
Traveller I see what you see.
Guitar Try seeing with something besides
your eyes.
Traveller (sarcastic) Oh sure!
Guitar plays the song. Slowly one by one characters enter with mimes of folded notes. Each faces the audience, speaking out what each has written on the note and sticks it in a crack in the Wall.
Sheera; (enters saying to parents off stage),
"OK, I'll catch up to you at the bus."
(She places note in wall, her words indicate the prayer),
I'm being awful but my parents won't respect
anything I say.
That really hurts because I really do
love them. Make
them understand that I need them to
believe in me.
(exits)
Sara; (enters) Dear God, Sam's dying.
He thinks I don't know.
Make this a
good vacation for him. I shouldn't
let myself get
so upset with Sheera. It only makes
it worse. Maybe
if I told her. But she's so young. Give
us all some
patience, some tolerance. (exits)
Soldier; (enters) I going to the front tomorrow. I don't
want to get
killed. I don't want to kill anyone.
I lost my best
friend in the fighting already.
Just a chance.
If I could only know there was a
chance for peace.
(exits)
Kelli; (enters calling out to Susy off stage,) "I
just
gotta do this,
I promised my baba. It'll take a
minute.
God, my parents
are fighting worse all the time.
Please don't
let them get a divorce. (exits)
Old man; (enters) You took my parents at Treblinka. Now, my
sister, she's
gone, too. My kids say there couldn't be
a God in a world
so bad so they won't come here. Help
them to find
you. Help them to know you like I know
you.
(exits)
Traveller (writes a note and places it in the Wall saying;)
Maybe I've been
travelling too long. Maybe I
only see what
I want to see. But I'm ready, now.
I'm ready to
see the other side of the wall.
Guitar (singing, characters who wrote notes enter gradually
and join in)
There is another
side to this wall
There is another
side to us all
We cannot see
it with our eyes
We must seek
it with our heart
Then we'll find
that other part
The End
Sheldon Oberman
822 Dorchester Ave
Winnipeg Manitoba
R3M 0R7
204 478 1644
soberman@mts.net